Thursday, November 26, 2009

sehari sebelum raya...

I don't have time to write any post yesterday since i was very busy wif my notes and study. Anyhow, i would like to share with the readers upon my experience. First time celebrating Hari Raya in condition i am away from my family. Eventhough it is Hari Raya Haji, i still insist that it supposed to be celebrate with our beloved family.

I never thought it was harder than i think. I think i still can carry on celebrating Hari Raya without my family because all my good frens are around and they also did not come back to their hometown. It was ok at first until my little sister called me asking whether is it true i'm not coming back. i said, yup, it's true that i'm not coming back this time coz my final paper just around the corner and i can't bear to lose a minute of my precious time [ i don't consider writing in my blog now as losing my precious time coz it is a way for me to give myself a few minutes of break after a long tiring hour of study =) ].

I supposed to be there in my hometown, having a good time with my parent, siblings and family but i guess it is the time for me to do a "sacrifice". It does not mean that i sacrifice my family in order to pursuit my excellence in study but i have to do this. I want my parent to be proud of me, i want my siblings to be proud of their sister and that is why i sacrifice the good time so that i won't regret in my later life.

I miss my home so much...mama, baba , atok, my siblings (although sometimes they are annoying but i love them very much for sure,huhuhu) and my family.

Hari Raya's eve, me and my frens went down heading to cafe to have dinner but unfortunately the cafe is closed =( luckily Cangkir cafe in students' center is still open, so we went there to have our dinner....isk3x....

and that's make me want to cry....how i miss my hometown....uwaaa.....

p/s: i miss mr H so much....eventhough i know he will never reply, i still want to wish him and let him know that i still here, waiting for him.

Wednesday, November 25, 2009

m.a.l.a.s

need to go to the faculty to take my exam slip....uwaa....malas............

Tuesday, November 24, 2009

i miss him...A LOT...

i miss him so much...i miss him eventhough he dumped me right after he meets me...why? i dunno...but i do hope one day he will tell me the reasons why he dumped me...

After he left, my heart broken so badly. i never thought that *physical appearance* counts most when it involves someone you really like and have a potential to go beyond the bound of a friendship. I know me and him shared the same feeling but i guess for him the feeling was gone right after he sees me...

how i know he has a feeling towards me? coz action speaks louder than words...
and
how i know he does not wants me anymore? again...action speaks louder than words.

my good frens advise me to forget him and erase him from my memory but i just can't. They said that i deserve better than him but my heart says he is the best for me.

what are the reasons i fall in love wif him?
  • he is very gentle wif his parent and his siblings.
  • the way he treats me, his attention towards me, his advises etc.
  • he is very soft spoken.
  • he always remind me about what is the purpose of my existence in this world.
Actually there are a lot more but the 4 reasons above are the main reasons why i so deeply in love with him.

People say, he does not wants you anymore, you better find someone else coz for sure there are a better person than him.
BUT...i just can't...it's hard for me to fall in love and hard for me to leave my love.

How long i want to be like this? i dunno...but i do know something, he has always said to me "buatlah sesuatu kerana Allah dan yakinlah dengan janji2 Allah dan pasti ada kejayaan..."

with this piece of advise, i pray day and night,
if he is meant to be for me,
if he is the best for me,
if he is the piece of me that is missing,
may Allah brings us together in His blessing
but
if he is not for me, to Allah i pray to give me someone who is better than him in everthing...

urghhhh....

why can't u just tell me what is guin wrong rather than keeping and showing ur annoying straight face in front of me? huh~ i just could not understand why this certain people can't just be honest...if i do something wrong, tell me (but be sure to tell me nicely...) c'mon la...we are not school children anymore, grown up la cikit....piss off~


Sunday, November 22, 2009

appreciate the one who really loves you =)

DERITA MERINDU

Kau katakan cinta gunakan akal
Bila aku gunakan, kau yang menyangkal
Bagaimana nak kekal

Kau katakan cinta gunakan minda
Bila aku gunakan, kau yang tak percaya
Bagaimana nak bahagia

Maafmu tak bererti, kau mudah sesali
Berulang kali telah kau mungkiri
Manis mulut berjanji terpedaya lagi
Menanti biar terus didustai

Kaulah bahagia (bagiku)
Kaulah derita (bagimu)
Esok lusamu
Tak ku kenal lagi engkau siapa

Dan aku cuba sedaya upaya
Telah ku usaha dengan sepenuh jiwa
Bagaimana hendak ku lupa
bayangan wajahmu selalu di depan mata

harum baumu masih dapat ku hidu
Bagaimana ingin aku membencimu
Jikalau setiap hari merindu

Sekiranya derita merinduimu itu sebenarnya bahagia..
Aku pilih derita..

Mungkinkah esok atau lusa walau biarpun lama
Akan ku biar tiada ku tetap kan setia
Entah bila akan tiba sampai jua harimu yang sama
Esok seperti semalaman yang tak berubah

Kaulah tanda tanya.. kau tiada titik noktah
Ku dibuai mimpi lena dikejut igau semula
Kaulah tanda tanya.. kau tiada titik noktah
Ku dibuai mimpi lena dikejut igau semula

Seandainya kau berada di depan mata
Mudah untuk aku berkata-kata
Supaya dapatku melihat seraut wajahmu
Walaupun belum tentu kau mahu bertemu
Apalagi memandangku

Setelah ku turutkan segala kemahuan kau mainkan perasaan
Begitu mudah kau ucapkan terimalah saja kenyataan..
Aku masih terkilan

Jika kau dapat memahami hati seorang perindu
Baru kau tahu derita hatiku
Jika suatu hari nanti giliran kau merindu
Baru kau ingat derita diriku
Segala yang berlaku bukan kemahuanku

Apa gunanya bahgia
Jikalau bahagia bersamamu hanyalah untuk sementara waktu
Aku pilih derita merinduimu

semalam...

Yesterday was fab!For the first time after 3weeks of sweat n blood, finally i'm enjoying myself to the fullest. Yesterday i went to JJ Seremban wif my beloved cousin, sis Fyza. We started our evening first by queing to buy movie tickets. We plan to watch Senario episode 2*wink*...but because of the availability of the seats are only allowed us to watch the movie at 9.30pm, we decided to play bowling to kill the time. Bowling....since the first time i went to JJ Seremban, i've been craving to play bowling,but back then i was in hurry and i don't have time to entertain my craving. So then yesterday, we played 2 frames and of course i'm not a good bowling player and i don't score much...huhuhu....but the point is i got the chance to play and satisfy my craving towards bowling games... =) 9.30pm, we went into the cinema after a quick pre dinner ( we ate buns so at least we're not starving while watching the movie) and about the movie, out of 5 for the best, i gave Senario episode 2, hurmmm.... 21/2... so hard nowadays to find a good malay movie. This movie is not that bad, it just that i've seen tonnes of "maha hebat" movies which indirectly make me again craving more and more maha hebat movie....ngehehehe...

i think i want to change something about my life...i should do this for a long time but i just don't have the determination and nothing driven me to change it...*sigh*

Friday, November 20, 2009

hai....

hai suma....hurm...terjebak juga akhirnya denga dunia blog ni...actually da lama teringin nak ada blog sendiri,tapi masa selalu saja tak mengizinkan.Saya harap lepas ni saya akan sentiasa ada masa untuk mengemaskini blog saya.Tujuan saya buat blog ni? saje je...nak share ape yang berlaku dalam hidup saya,n nak share impian saya yang saya harap akan tercapai...menulis...bukan bidang saya,kadang2 pemilihan words saya kurang sesuai,namun saya harap hari demi hari saya boleh memperbaiki segala kekurangan saya....Insya Allah... =) setakat ini dulu...apa yang buruk dtg dari hamba Allah yg lemah ini namun segala yang terbaik datangnyer dari Allah yang Maha Kuasa...